Wednesday, April 30, 2008

a 3 yr old and a pair of scissors

Tonight I went into Lolly’s room and found this.


Naughty! But she still looked fine. For all that hair on the floor you couldn’t tell she’d done anything. She’d just given herself some layers.


So we painted her nails. She is so excited to show her preschool teachers her pink nails tomorrow.


Tonight she said “Mommy, I gonna tell you a question. A heart is made with love and happies!” What a darlin question of her to ‘tell'! She held up her red teddy bear and said “My red bear stops.” I said “He stops what?” She said “He stops at red lights.”

Carrie emailed me this yesterday about Judah – “On Saturday when you were in the other room, Judah was telling me his favorite bands. He goes "There are some bands that are my favorite music. One of them is, Tennis Pro.." and here he did this move where he kind of fanned his hand around the house behind him, gesturing to David in the other room. "My dad plays in that band. Another of my favorite music is...Jack White." He said Tennis Pro and Jack White in kind of an exclusive, new band you've never heard of way. It was adorbs!”

are you riding a rocket that's headed for hell?

My sister-in-law April put this at her blog, it's just too funny!

"are you riding a rocket that’s headed for hell? "

This is the beginning of a series on the same topic ultimately entitled "Only a Christian would..."

Only a Christian would...
-start a band (in large part to meet chicks) and call it ministry
-save the wedding day for the first kiss (or at least tell everyone you did)
-use the biblical reference "your body is a temple of the holy spirit" to justify the damning of tattoos, piercings, alcohol consumption, cigarette smoking, cussing, joke-telling, finger-flipping, speeding, dyeing hair, etc. as temple-destroying sins (oh wait. I forgot sex!)
-use "dagnabbit" as a valid cuss word...and one reserved for the more extreme situations of anger
-define "outreach" as working the church coffee counter with your 3 best friends
-abandon the nuclear family to go save China!
-try to "change San Francisco for Jesus!"
-tell Satan to get behind them (publicly and privately)
-say that life is a blessing even when you know it's shit creek paddleless
-save their sluttiest outfit for Sunday morning because they're "waiting for God's perfect husband"
-claim horrible and random tragedies on innocent people were "God's will"
-think that church attendance is a requirement for eternal salvation
-inquire casually about another person's spiritual condition as if it were the same as saying "how are you today?"
-replace the term 'dating' with "yoked (equal?.....or not.)

Now that you've reached the end I'll tell you something. This blog will be far more read for its comments than it's content....

the island of lesbos

Times are hard for the Island of Lesbos.

Yesterday I saw two women in the Target parking lot, one holding a baby girl and a little boy was walking with them. The baby was only wearing a shirt and a diaper even though it was cold, and when they got in their car the woman in the front passenger seat didn't put the baby in a car seat, they drove away holding her on her lap! I called 911 and gave them the license plate number. I'm still thinking about those kids. I'm upset too about the 400+ kids from the LDS sect who are in state custody. That's so incredibly traumatic for them! Why weren't they allowed to stay where they live with their mothers while the men in the sect were taken into custody, when the men were the ones who were allegedly doing all the bad stuff? When I am queen I won't let that stuff happen.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

got a good reason for taking the easy way out

Chocobacon exists!!


Yesterday Carrie said
"I'd like Sam Elliott to follow me around and narrate my day: 'Carrie did a google image search for 'skidmark.' "
I thought that was brilliant. Then this morning I got an email from Shari that said "Do a Google image search for 'suprapubic catheter.' " If you are feeling adventurous, or like you need a violent measure to snap you out of being bored, I suggest you try it too.

And yesterday got an email from a baby. I sort of have a problem with letters written from the baby's perspective and then signed with the baby's name, and I went looking for a post I wrote about it like 4 years ago and I finally found it. Is anyone with me on this?

Monday, April 28, 2008

drop down

Crazy lawsuit here. Go America! And the guy is from my native Arkansas. Even better.

I love me some Richard Simmons! Here he is making over Jimmy Kimmel.

davy, davy crockett, king of the wild frontier

This blog is brought to you in part by this rad necklace from Carrie. She gave it to me and THEN that same day Jason back in Austin said I remind him of his friend Jennifer who, come to find out, owns that store! She made my necklace that I got that day, so weird.


Ballet and the Pixies, they're dancing to Where Is My Mind?

Sunday, April 27, 2008

happy birthday rob

Happy birthday to Rob, the nicest bestest keyboardist of my favoritest bestest band.

[pic by Keira]

the women's blog at mars hill church

My friend Kimberly posted this about Mark Drisoll and his teachings at Mars Hill Church here in Seattle. I'm concerned about some things going on there and Kim wrote about this subject - I just feel significant unrest about the teachings there. I'll paste what she wrote here and her blog is here.

"So, you have to forgive me for talking about Mark Driscoll again– I know he is just one of many voices on the gender issue. But, he is in my hometown and I am just getting more and more concerned by what his church (Mars Hill) is dictating on gender. Actually, concern is too kind. I am appalled.

You really ought to read this blog, which is the confession of a mother at his church who condemns herself for not being content with being at home. (The blog is part of the official church website, which in the past year has added women writers.) She tells the story of how much she has longed to finish her Masters program (she has 10 credits left), but she finally has repented of desiring anything but motherhood. Here's an except so you can get the feel for how she describes the months after having a child:

"I was miserable. I felt isolated. I missed my job. I missed my old work friends. I missed commuting. I missed my morning Starbucks drive through. My husband was taken care of. My daughter was thriving. But I was going crazy. I felt like my brain was rotting with every load of laundry I did. Every morning I woke up dreading the day and how I would fill the hours, regardless of how many activities I had planned. I was filled with resentment, bitterness, and discontentment.

Isaiah 59:2 - “But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.”

In September, a month after our daughter was born, God blessed us yet again. Samson was offered a job and came on staff at Mars Hill. An amazing opportunity and one we had been praying for and yet I was immediately seized with fear. Great, I thought. I could keep up the happy housewife façade with my husband and friends, but under the watchful eye of an entire church? I would surely buckle under the pressure. Everyone would know how much I loathed being home. How would people react when they knew the truth? They would be shocked at my worldliness. They would shake their heads at my husband’s inability to shepherd his wife.

I grew increasingly angry with God. This isn’t how it was supposed to be! Where was my peace? Where was the joy and relief that I was supposed to feel? Hadn’t God called me home? Hadn’t he impressed this on my heart? I was surrounded by a wonderful supportive community. My husband was the most appreciative doting father, my daughter was the happiest sweetest baby, my friends were always there to guide me and walk with me. This is what I wanted, right? This was the calling that God had made me for. I was designed to be a mother to my child, a helper suitable to my husband.

I believed it in my head but I didn’t feel it in my heart. I was ashamed and shocked at myself. I was so disgusted with the ugly and horrendous condition of my heart that I couldn’t tell anyone, not even my husband. It was a secret sin that I harbored within myself. And the longer I kept my secret, the more the sin grew. I began to resent my husband and daughter for needing me. I grew bitter towards women who could answer God’s calling with a joyful heart when I could not. I knew what I was feeling was wrong, but I couldn’t confess it because by now I felt my sin was too great. I had been feeding it for too long and it had grown out of control."

Also, it is a 2 part posting, and you can read the second part here. Here is an excerpt of how the writer feels when she decides to "repent" of pursuing her Masters degree:

"I confessed and repented to my husband and daughter for the selfishness and singularity of my sin. I embraced my role as wife and mother the best I could and slowly began to feel a joy and peace in my life that can only come from living for God’s will and not my own. I was not completely full, because in this life we never are, but I was walking with the Lord. I was headed in the right direction.

Slowly and painfully I am coming to grips with the fact that I will never finish my Master’s degree. By now my student loan payments have started to kick in, a monthly reminder of that part of me I feel is so incomplete. My graduate student standing has long since expired, but I can’t bear to take myself off the department mailing list. I keep my textbooks tucked away in a dusty box, just in case the Lord changes His mind. I still have that darker part of my soul that hangs on to the temptation for a life apart from God to pursue my own glory."

My disclaimer: I think being a homemaker is honorable, but I think women should have choice in this. And when your theology and social networks tell you it is straight up sinful to desire anything different, than you don't really have much choice. There is just so much harm to analyze here on a psychological and sociological level. I want to weep when I read this story, and the stories of the woman who write in to say they also have "sinned" by desiring more than marriage and motherhood. When will people see how much this theology harms women (and men and their families, too)?

I think the comments of fellow readers might be even more insightful too help us see the psychological harm women are undergoing at that church. Consider these comments of women praising the article:

"(Almost) every Sunday for the last 7 years since I officially ended my ‘career’, I ferret the Seattle Times Job Classified section to find all the jobs in the legal field I ‘could’ have. For some reason (that I quit analyzing or agonizing or guilting myself over many editions ago), this is comforting, to think there are jobs out there that I could pursue. Then Mark shakes his head and winks at me as he hands me the stinky kitchen rag that really should have went in the laundry yesterday, I wipe Jack’s oatmeal off the floor and last nights dirt from Henry’s nose before I sound my last holler alarm to the teenagers to GET UP NOW. (As a sidenote, occasionally, I still get cold feet when I think of my marriage, but that’s another story.) God is faithful and good to conform us into the image of His Son (that’s what this whole gig is about)."

"Thanks for sharing Elizabeth. My daughter was three before Christ set me “free” from my idolatry and gave me joy in being home with the kids.I would encourage you to keep on wrestling with this and pick all the weeds of wrong/worldly thinking that are associated with mothering. I thought I had pulled this one by the root until I heard my little girl say to her father last week…”When I grow up I want to be a mommy just like my mommy” How sweet, right? While this is now my thought, my first, sinful thought was “Oh no, she should go to college and do something really great…not just be a mom.” OUCH! Immediately I cringed, “where did that thought come from?”

Friday, April 25, 2008

i can't hear miss jay, bitch!

I just read that today in Seattle some lady stabbed some lady because she was talking too loudly during America’s Next Top Model. If Tyra hears about this she will probably be incredibly flattered.

This pancake-sausage corndog should have been invented a long time ago.


I just juiced two dozen key limes for Phil’s birthday key lime pie. Next time I think I’m just going to buy a bottle of lime juice.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

kitten sneeze

This wittle kitten sneezes and then meows. Have reverence.

Me: "I want to put it in my mouth."
Shari: "I want to throw a net over it!"


I'm in Lara's wedding in September and she said we can pick any black dress we want. !! (A lot of people don't like being bridesmaids, but I happen to love it.) I found two dresses on this site that I'm kinda torn between. I saw this one first and though how adorable, right?


Then I saw this one and said oh yeah.


But I wasn't sure if it was totally a bridesmaidy kind of dress so I asked Lara. She said "it's a little racy for a wedding. What do you say? I actually don't really care. Surprise me!"

So now I'm on the horns of a delimma. (I love saying that.)

the gay way

These two things made me pee with joy this morning, and it's not even 7:18! (It's 7:17.)

Ryan posted this video -

And Simone wrote this post about our affinity for all things gay. I ruv her. Not in the gay way though. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

a list of my childhood crushes (pre age 10)

Speed Racer
Bo Duke
Todd Gungoll (2nd grade)
Tripp Estes (3rd grade
Jake Stickford (4th grade
Marty McFly
Jack Tripper

jugtown wine made daddy feel good

Neil Hamburger's new country video is cracking me up. I'm sitting here at work snorting and shaking with my headphones on. Don't feel like you have to think it's as funny as I do. Just know that you should. Oh I crack myself up.

David went to the Racontours show Monday night and since it was sold out he stood outside the venue and just listened the whole time. I said "you listened to the whole show from outside?" and he said "yeah, it sounded pretty good from out there." For some reason I think that story is so cute.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

obama on the daily show

Part 1

Part 2

top ten texts

Christina posted the last ten text messages she got so I will too. It's a fun new game that's sweeping the nation.


"Why is everyone in the lobby a tranny?"

"It's been nothing but absolutely no fun."

"Can you check me in online when you get a chance? Let me know if you can do it."

"Drunkers! Wish you were here."

"It is, but until they can serve coffee in a place that doesn't smell like hog fat, they can count me out."

"I'm fed up with this wurld!!!"

"Why didn't anyone tell me the pope was an old gay german."

"We are in labor and at the hospital. She is at 6 cm. Should happen later today."

"Had a marshmallow spinal tap today."

"I'm at a restaurant and they're piping Kenny G. I almost want to leave because of it. Fuck!"

Friday, April 18, 2008

chinese coleslaw

I feel it's my duty to recommend these two things:

1. The original Pink Panther cartoon series for those of you who have kids. My 3 & 6 yr olds LOVE it, totally eating it up, and it's nonviolent and Henry Mancini did the music.

2. This chinese coleslaw recipe from heaven, I just posted it at my recipe blog.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

well, so's your coffee

Instant Folgers commercial from the 50s. Fresh perked!

I think this unsnobby coffee site is so funny. That sleuthy McDonald's! I like their coffee. It's super good. I haven't had their espresso cause espresso don't have enough caffeine but as long as they're giving free lattes in Seattle on Fridays then okay. I'll have a double short with a drip chaser, thank you drive through.

recent quotes that brought me joy

"Did I tell you Grandma crashed her car in the Grocery Outlet parking lot? Apparently they are threatening her that they're going to take all her money. But the joke's on them, cause she don't have any. Guess what she also doesn't have: car insurance!!" - Carrie

"Tagalongs are always cumbersome. I am irrationally
annoyed by people who cannot take responsibility for
their own lunch satisfaction." - Carrie

"Last night we were sitting at the bistro table eating hot dogs and chips for dinner and i was like "i miss them." And peter said, "hot dogs don't taste as good without lolly and judah." - Christina

"If you're way high up in an airplane and you look down at a city, the city looks like frow up." - Judah

"The Pink Pamfer is 100% my man." - Judah, on the Pink Panther

"Strawberries make me crazy with a happy heart." - Lolly

"I want to play biolent bideo games." - Judah
(teasing him later about 'biolent bideo games' he said to me:) "YOU'RE a biolent bideo game."

"Rediscovering Susan, Getting rid of Angela, Hating Julie...?" - David trying to say Forgetting Sarah Marshall

**THIS JUST IN** "Dogs are cute for like 20 minutes. Then they are far too intrusive and slobbery. I don't like it when I go to someone's house and they spend more time yelling at or fawning over the dog than entertaining their guest. Once I read this fascinating article about the batshit founder of PETA and how she thought it was "arrogant and selfish" the way humans keep animals as pets. I was perturbed to realize that the PETA lady had kind of convinced me of her point. KIND of. Of course I love outdoor/farm animals, but I think having urban shut-in pets are like imprisonment! I've got to find that article. She has it in her will that she wants to be barbecued when she dies and all this other gross stuff." - Carrie H., PhD.

portland pictures

I didn't get around to taking many pictures but here are the few that live on.

Road trip gift bags take the edge off having to sit still for hours.


Lolly makes herself at home. (She later drew on that duvet with my hot pink lipstick. Girl About Town by MAC, may it rest in peace. Thank you Jesus in the sky for Spot Shot.)


Christina in their radical living room.


David dressed for the stage


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

income removal service

The urbandictionary definition today is IRS = income removal service. As in "the IRS folks tried to jack 5 grand off my bank account."

Here are a couple weekend Portland pictures from Christina & Peter's backyard.



Shari just sent me this link for a bookholder! Am I totally gay for wanting one? Is this the final frontier for the lazy American? All that strenuous reading I do.

It was my turn to read one of my stories last night in Group Counseling 'n' Friends which always makes me nervous but that's supposed to be good. My story was about people who have an utter resistance to having a relationship with me deeper than "how was your day at work?" Also at group I bawled my eyes out but I am extremely comfortable doing so with them now. I guess that's progress?

I think this weekend I'll take the kids to the Seattle Art Museum to see all the cars hanging frm the ceiling, and then we'll get strawberries at the market. Yesterday we went to the market and Lolly was in heaven sitting on David's shoulders eating a huge strawberry, then when she was done she chunked the stem into a trash can from way up high on his shoulders. She's the best.

I want to get Davy these Mark Nason shoes. I find them dapper.

Monday, April 14, 2008


I don't usually like musicals but I like this scene. I think this is a Godard movie...I want to see more of them now. I like how the girl's singing isn't great and perfect. Cutie pie.

I'll put some pictures up later of our weekend in Portland. (Xtina, do you have any?)

Friday, April 11, 2008

the pants zone: parachute or non-parachute?

The innernette! You're not connected to anyone so no one's connected to you.

Here's Neil Hamburger having a poolside chat with Tim & Eric. It has the zesty language for those of you offended (though I don't imagine anyone who would keep reading this blog has a problem with it).

Thursday, April 10, 2008

i messed with the colors

I wanted pale pale aqua to be the background but blogger wont' do that so oh well. This interview with Supergrass is my favorite ever! The food & wine section of the Guardian interviewed them while they were making dinner, how radtabulous is that.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

jell-o with rubbery fruit in it

I slept through my alarm and awoke to a frantic call from Carleen going "ARE YOU RIDING THE VANPOOL TODAY?" I said blearily "no, I'm riding the bus" and Carleen said "I didn't know that" and I said "I didn't either."

Last night David answered the door and there was a man standing there who said "Are you familiar with Dianetics?" David said "You mean the L. Ron Hubbard book?" The guy was glad to hear this, he said "Yes! What do you know about it?" and David said "I know that L. Ron Hubbard bought a million of his own book so it would make the best-seller lists" and the guy said cheerfully "That's true!" Then I forget what else was said but he ended up giving us a DVD on Scientology.

This Onion article made me laugh and laugh and laugh. So did these outtakes of newscaster bloopers. I got an endorphin surge from laughing so much! The grape-stomping one kills me. Gawker also had a thing on the Real Housewives of NY. I am in love with that show and I want to hug and squeeze it. Music sweet music I wish I could caress with a kiss, manic depression frustrated mess.

American Idol last night! I just watched the beginnings of everything and then fastforwarded to what Simon would say. Paula looked pretty good actually. She had her hair up and was wearing a boob tray. I remember the Australian guy singing, I like him okay, he's one of the more likeable people on there. I don't remember what Simon said about him. Syesha sounded good but I got bored quick and Simon says that's bad. The dreds guy seems the nicest and I liked his little song, seemed like he was channeling Beirut with his ukelele but that's okay, and I think Simon liked that guy. Kristy Lee Cook looked super pretty last night but I got bored with her song too. Then the Irish girl's song was sort of annoying so I powered through that one and also my least favorite David, as usual I just got impatient with it. He's got that contrived quality to his voice, like Eddie Vedder. The blonde girl's song wasn't bad, she just personally doesn't seem like a lot of fun.

I just finished my April mix and Chi was nice enough to let me use her cute peapod-smelling-a-flower drawing (? is that a drawing? or some feat of magic?) as the little album cover.


Here's the track list, written very very small:
Shopping Day - Tennis Pro
I’m Not Like Everybody Else - The Kinks
The Recycle Bin - Neil Hamburger
The Walking Song - Turtles
Cut Your Hair - Pavement
Balaclava - Arctic Monkeys
Lightening Strikes The Postman - Flaming Lips
Who? - Brian Jonestown Massacre
Now I Can Smile - The Minders
I Can’t Believe - Apples In Stereo
Gypsum Oil Field Fire - Olivia Tremor Control
Diary of Wood - Circulatory System
Heavenly - Dandy Warhols
Be Kind + Remind - Rogue Wave
Don’t Forget To Breathe - Beulah
Northeast Winter - Mazarin
Don’t Call Me Whitney, Bobby - Islands
Hollow Little Reign - Supergrass
Gronlandic Edit - Of Montreal
Today (lullabye) - Michael Armstrong

Right now I'm listening to the news on Adam Carolla about an all-gay cemetery in Copehagen. Now how about that. What are YOU dong?

**I just remembered today is the day that General Lee surrendered to the North at the Appomatox courthouse. This day is a big deal in the south. My grammy grew up in Appomatox and she said they used to have the day off school. Surreal.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

winner winner chicken dinner

Friday was Trophy Cupcake day where we were on a mission for the limited edition chocolate-graham-marshmallow cupcakes. We went with Ann-Krestene, Jen, Rachel & their kids to get these pieces of m'fing heaven. Here's the link to the video of them being made on Martha Stewart, if you can be bothered. Ann-Krestene took these awesome pictures.



Then today after picking up daddy at the airport we went back to Trophy.



Thursday, April 3, 2008

it's too loud and i'm too old

Saturday night I thought about not going, but I knew I had to find the fun. I don't go to shows all the time these days, duh I have kids, and I'm getting old so I get tired at like 6:30. But David was having a record release so I got a babysitter and drove through the snow (yes, snow! I just about turned around) to the King Cobra. It only took me about 45 mintues to find parking on Capitol Hill (harumph) but my soccer mom kids-these-days grumpiness went away as I walked to the venue, past Neumo's where loud goodness was pouring out and past the Comet where more loudness and fun people were and I was suddenly so glad to be here. I'm so in love with this city! Thank you Jesus in the sky for such fun friends and good music everywhere. Here are some pics of that night by Sound on the Sound. David sewed this outfit. By hand. G-g-g-gay! It's pretty fantastic.



Pillow fight during the last song.




I'm still finding feathers everywhere five days later.

Oh - their new album is called Are You There, God? It's Me, Tennis Pro. hee hee

(art by the inimitable Dawn Cerny)